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So much flesh...so little time.

09-12-2007 07:04 AM

So, Stuff is gone. I wasn't there for the end of it, I left before then. The place basicly decayed and was a ghost forum. I have left the Simming communtiy, I haven't gained anything from being in it. I lost the remaining friends I did have, but they weren't very good friends in the first place. I do miss chatting about the game and downloads, but I right now can't even play the game, it's not from lack of interest.. My PC fried.. Thank you 375 for ruining yet another thing. I don't know how he managed it, but he peed inside the bloody case!! My mother board is fried. I'm trying to fix my other PC, but.. I can't boot it up, even with a disk.

My wedding date is offical, by September 17th, 2009 I will be married to Danny Farrell. I've started looking at dresses and reading through magazines. I don't have my ring yet, I will hopefully get that at Christmas time.. Maybe. I decided that I want a pearl ring, instead of the common diamond. I never really liked diamonds.. I've always liked pearls.


I re-started my personal forum.. I just didn't have enough time or energy to spend on it. I have lost a key staff member, he left suddenly. Without a word, but from what I get is that he wanted to leave awhile ago, and just never spoke up about it. I don't really care much since he turned out to be a craptastic friend in the end. He changed and became a huge hypocrite. Partly I'm glad that he's gone, I no longer have to listen to his droning emo ass shit. I knew something changed when the texts and the un answered phone calls happened. He met someone, and pretty much abandoned me, doing all those things he lectured me about a year ago. Is it bad that I hope it blows up in his face? I can't stand hypocrites and that's what he's become.

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02-20-2007 06:40 PM

I always run away from my problems, as soon as things get rough I bolt. Dan got a speeding ticket, for over $100. Dan only has $101.00 in the bank. I feel like its my fault that he got the ticket, even though I wasn't in the car with him. Because of the ticket, the money ran out, much quicker than we imagined. And.. Still no jobs. I don't know when the next time I see him is, it could be months. I miss him so much, this love feels like it's killing me. But I don't want to give up and always wonder how things could had been.

I honestly don't know if I can do this, it hurts so much, and I miss him a lot.  When I was with him, I slept with him, today... I woke up to the crushing realization that.. He wasn't here. I no longer woke up to someone smiling at me and hugging me. I woke up alone.. And it hurts.

I keep thinking about the future and making plans.. So it doesn't seem like such a impossible task of moving together. It makes it seem like it's going to happen sooner.. I don't have patiernce, I never did.. I need to atleast do something to make this seem like its happening sooner. Even though realisticly it's going to take more than a year or two to move in with each other.. But.. i'm going to try. I have to..

I went ring shopping again, and found a very nice pearl ring, it was affordable and pretty, we also went to a bridal shop, everything there was.. Ugly. I don't like a lot of bedding, I just want something plain with a not so low back. We're still undecided about the wedding, it all depends on what we can afford. But.. I want to marry him, and would do so even at a court marriage. I feel like this is the one for me.

..I have never been treated so well by anyone before. He's a amazing lover and a great boyfriend. I know that he'd give up anything for me, and I'd do the same for him. I never expected this, he makes me so happy. I still can't believe he was single, he's just too great. I never thought I'd find a love like this. I'm so lucky to be with him...

And when I think about it, he makes it so worth while for me to wait for this to pass. I know things will eventually get better.. I just have to wait.

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